"given the circumstance..." maintaining perspective.

maintaining perspective during a time where it feels the easiest to lose it.

from: @melanatedmomma on twitter

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"redesign your brain, we gon' make some new habits" -Ariana Grande, "just like magic"

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Knowing that whatever is meant for me will come to me is something that took a lot of understanding, patience, and perspective given the circumstance of the COVID-19 pandemic. I started 2020 hopeful yet nervous, just like any other person in the world. I had quite the fun year lined up with Coachella, my twentieth birthday, my graduation and transfer from my community college, a trip to Miami, and so much more. The more I planned for these things the more news I heard about coronavirus until it completely stopped the world in its tracks in March.

Lockdown after lockdown left me, along with billions of other people, feeling so confused as to what the future will hold. For me, one of the biggest things I was concerned about was school. Not only was I worried for the safety of my peers and myself, I was also worried about how my education and possible career path would be affected. I applied to multiple universities in the semester prior and was eventually accepted into my two dream schools, NYU and UCLA.

These acceptances came to me during a time where the virus was at its peak and I had to make a decision with no idea as to what the rest of the year would look like. I took this time during quarantine to truly self-reflect and understand myself completely, despite the circumstances. I then accepted UCLA's offer, became an honors student, and have been maintaining the same perspective since. Here are the things that I always keep in mind:

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not everything is permanent

This pandemic has been alive for almost a year, yet for most it has felt like an eternity. Being in lockdown has definitely taken a toll on everyone's outlook on life. Each day feels like the last and the end doesn't seem to be coming within the next day or week. However, despite these circumstances, each new day brings us closer to a post-pandemic world.

Reminding myself of this is one of the toughest tasks to take on. Lately I've been feeling less hopeful and more nostalgia of life pre-pandemic. It becomes tougher whenever I reminisce on old experiences such as going to concerts, parties, and even life without having to wear a mask. It is at this time that I remember that life was like this only a year ago and not a century ago.

I maintain perspective by reminding myself that this pandemic is ending soon and that it is not permanent. The world will not live in a permanent state of panic or dread due to this virus because everything in life comes to an end.

you are trying your best and that is okay

Given the circumstance, it has become easier to lose your sense of self and become lost. Within the past year I have often found myself comparing my talents and achievements to others around me. I have asked myself, "how come they've done so much and I haven't?" and "maybe if I tried harder I could be like them". These negative thoughts consumed me until I realized that everyone is different from each other and that everyone brings something different to the table. What I have to offer is something that is unique because I put in my own effort into it. I try my best in every aspect and it gets me to places that I know I want to be at and that is okay.

you will end up in a place where you are meant to be

During the college application process, I had the looming concern of rejection on my mind everyday until my decisions came out. I always worried about not being good enough to go to a certain school and even questioned myself as to why I was even trying in the first place. I doubted myself to the point where I didn't even consider applying to schools like NYU and UCLA because I felt that I didn't belong there. Despite these feelings, I took the risk of applying to both of these schools and it ended up being the best decision of my life.

I was accepted into both NYU and UCLA. The fear of rejection was quickly replaced with the question of which school to pick. At the time, NYU was my absolute dream school. I had my eyes set on NYU, but ultimately chose UCLA.

In between the time of submitting my application and receiving my decision letters, I turned the fear of rejection into positive affirmations. I reminded myself almost daily that if I get rejected into a school, it is not where I am meant to be. It has nothing to do with me not being smart enough or talented enough, it just means that I can use these personal features in a place that is meant for me. I have not regretted this decision at all because I know that I have ended up in a place that I belong.

acknowledge and validate your emotions

This pandemic has surely brought along feelings of anxiety, sadness, pessimism, and more. Being surrounded by sickness and death in the span of less than a year can take a large toll on the mind. Personally, I have found myself frustrated and confused as to how much the pandemic has taken a toll on me. I constantly worry about things that I cannot control and sometimes deal with it in unhealthy ways.

Bottling up emotions can create lasting damage on your psyche and health. I have learned that instead of ignoring these emotions I should acknowledge why I'm feeling them. I acknowledge my confusion as something that comes from the uncertainty of the pandemic. I acknowledge my frustration as something that comes from not being able to live life the way that I used to.

By acknowledging these emotions and understanding where they come from, I validate myself as a human being. My emotions are always valid in any given situation. Validating my emotions allows me to maintain perspective in my life.

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